my birfday

As I type this, I am dealing with consumption, better known as tb, or it might even be throat leuk. I'll let science decide.

I was putting off writing this entry bc it involves all my friends lying straight to my face. Soooo here it goes:

My birfday is jan 12th. About 4 months prior to this mrs. ktl said that she had to attend a librarian conference in Philly, and she said "sorry, ktl, but you have to go with me."

"On my birthday weekend?! Dammit, mrs. ktl!"
Of course, I conceded cause that's what keeps a marriage healthy. I was dreading the weekend because, come on, sound it out in your head....librarian.....dance.....party. Can it get any lamer?

But as a consolation prize, max anger and danb, said they would meet me in philly to celebrate, so my birthday wouldn't be totally ruined. Did I mention this was going to be my 30th?

Anyway, for the 4 months leading up to the conference. I kept telling people that I would be out of town for my 30th bday, and that we would have to celebrate the following weekend. It seemed like everyone was concerned that I was going to miss my birthday. But I was psyched cause max, DanB, and I were going to tear up the city of brotherly love.

DanB was flying into Philly, so I printed up the directions to the airport and got all his flight info. Mrs. ktl gave me the address to the hotel we were staying at, which she assured me was close to the conference.

So the weekend finally arrives, and I am all packed up and mrs. ktl is dragging ass packing her shit up...as usual. To put more of an urgency to our departure, I was going to pick up max and finally meet his mysterious girlfriend, strippersaurus, before we headed off to Philly. After what seemed like an hour of packing toiletries, mrs. ktl was finally ready, and we drove off to max's to pick him up and begin our journey to Philly.

We arrived at his place, and I was eager to get inside to see strippersaurus. At the door to his building, he met someone that he knew, and I kind of held up because I didn't want to bust in on strippersaurus by myself. But Max yelled, "GO INSIDE!!!", so without any more encouragement I went inside.....to a surprise party beyond proportions!!!

Everyone was there. It was amazing.

I went around hugging everyone and shaking hands. I was overcome with astonishment. There were so many people there, from all the different worlds of my life and they all collided and formed a magical kingdom called....my birthday.

The only problem (I thought) was that I had to be in Philly the next day to pick up DanB, and I couldn't stay here long cause we had to go to mrs. ktl's conference. But as I got around to the last people in the room. There was DanB.

I was confused....if he was here, then who was I picking up in Philly? What about the conference? Don't we have to leave soon?

Then my very slow brain caught up to what happened. It. Was. All. LIES.

The whole fucking thing was a lie. And then it dawned on me, the sheer magnitude of the lie. All these people knew I wasn't going to Philly. I had talked to everyone about this. For months these people knew. I had lunch everyday with someone that was coming to the party. I slept in the same bed with the biggest liar of them all. The people I am closest to in my life are incredible liars.

Incredible.

Anyways, the night degraded into a slobbery drink-fest for me. I picked a fight with the host (and won), had a pretzel shoved into my ear, and got to party like I was in college. It was awesome.

So I'd like to thanks all those involved in one of the biggest lies of my life, and one of the best birfdays ever. And an extra thank you and love you to my wife, mrs. ktl. the bestest wife ever-est!

Here are some pics of the night. Enjoy, I know I did!

A pic of some liars:


i like that the robinson's have the same expression, and that mr. robinson, is giving me the bird:


the best drinking game...ever. DING!